This month we have the privilege
to print the account of a recent conversation with one of
the hobby's most interesting personalities. It was quite an
honor to be given the opportunity to interview such a world-renowned
expert. To our knowledge this is the only interview ever granted.
The interview took place in Omaha, NE within a secluded non-descript
warehouse located in the shipyard district. No recording devices
(video or audio) were allowed. The attached photos were given
to Reefkeeping Magazine to support the attached stories
and should not be taken lightly.
THE CONTENT OF THIS ARTICLE (WORDS AND PICTURES) MAY BE TOO
STRONG FOR SOME READERS.
RKM: I would like to thank
you for taking the time to meet with us.
DD: My pleasure.
RKM: You go by the name of Diver Dan, why is that?
DD: Well,....its my name.
RKM: Can I call you Bob?
DD: Why don't we stick with Diver Dan for now?
RKM: Fair enough.
Dan always carries a kit of secret tools to eradicate
the enemy. The tool kit can clearly be seen in this
RKM: How long have you been in the hobby?
DD: You hear this quite often, but in my case it couldn't
be anymore true when I say "All my life". I guess
you could say I was 'molded' for this type of life.
RKM: How much time do you spend diving?
DD: I think it could accurately be said that I spend more
time in the water than out.
RKM: Would you describe your diving as recreational?
DD: My diving experiences have been to help hobbyists in
their endeavors with reef aquariums. Although there was the
one contract job I did in Malibu that involved a certain well-known
lady's dream pool. That was a lot of fun. Or it was until
that Ken guy showed up.
RKM: So your dive experiences sound more like work than recreational.
DD: Most certainly. My typical dive jobs are to assist with
the eradication of some of the world's evildoers. I can relate
one job that took place almost a year ago. This could serve
as representation of my work.
RKM: That would be great to hear a real-life story.
DD: I received a call from a friend of
mine in Saint Louis, MO (STL). At first the phone call was
innocent enough, until we started talking about Griss' tank.
Then I became very concerned and I knew we needed to go into
action quickly. I needed a plan and needed one fast. The key
was not to alarm the public or raise suspicions in the reefing
community. I decided my plan needed a cover. I called a couple
of team members together: Phillstone (a climatologist - possesses
a gift for changing the climate almost anywhere) and Carlos
(a linguist - speaks languages only he can understand) and
Nanook (M&M - medic and muscle). The plan would be for
them to distract the local reef community while I investigated
RKM: What was the problem? Why the urgency? STL is a great
place. I have a friend that lives there. We go there from
time to time to visit. You ever been to the Arch? You know
there is an elevator in that thing?
DD: Who's telling this story?
RKM: Please continue.
DD: Thank you.
DD: After the team agreed to meet me in STL, I called Griss
and told him we would get a few reefers together. Griss could
show the group around town. At this time I hadn't related
my fears to him, but I was greatly concerned.
DD: I met Griss at the STL airport and went straight to his
house. Once at Griss' house, my worst fears were confirmed.
It was overly evident that the evil Dr. Flatworm was trying
to establish a new headquarters. I feigned a headache and
sent Griss (unknowing to the danger in his own home) to meet
the reefers for a day of baggie swapping and drooling over
rock. Knowing Griss would be safe with the rest of the team,
I went to work on "Operation Flatworm".
RKM: So you caught Dr. Flatworm? I mean he is one of the
most sought after evildoers in the reefkeeping world. People
have been looking to stop him for years. To catch him would
DD: Dude, WHO is telling this story?
DD: I entered the tank and began my search.
I immediately found the trail to Dr. Flatworm's lair. The
thick coverage of corals and unfamiliar territory made it
difficult to follow the trail. I spent the better part of
the day tracking down Dr. Flatworm and his minions. Little
did I know that the Aiptasia Forces had infested a
nearby rock tank. My attention had been mainly on capturing
Dr. Flatworm, and I was unprepared when the trail led me into
the rock tank. The Aiptasia Forces must have sensed
my presence and sent a large assault team. Their numbers were
great, and I was soon overpowered and placed in the grips
of an enormous Ghost Clam. I knew my odds of surviving were
slim and I only had one chance.
exclusive shot of Diver Dan as he enters Griss's tank
on Operation Flatworm. His bravery is second to none.
RKM: I understand Ghost Clams can be quite dangerous.
DD: Yes. I don't know of anyone that was
caught by one and lived to tell about it. The Aiptasia
forces had stung me quite badly, and I could barely move.
Luckily, I had just enough mobility to reach my Berghia
Brigade Bell. The Berghia Brigade arrived in time to
release me from the Ghost Clam before I was crushed and never
heard from again. Once released from the Ghost Clam, I aided
the Berghia Brigade in eradicating the Aiptasia
Diver Dan is seen dueling with the deadly Aiptasia
Force just prior to opening his secret tool kit and
completely eradicating the enemy. He was held captive
in the Ghost Clam (seen here), but managed to escape
with the aid of the Berghia Brigade. (The shots
taken after the destruction were deemed too gruesome
for publication by the new editor).
RKM: What about the Ghost Clam?
DD: Well, with the help of a few power
tools, it really is a ghost clam now.
RKM: What about Dr. Flatworm?
DD: Dr. Flatworm managed to escape. His identity and transport
methods remain unknown. I know he is out there, and I'll find
him. I have to find him. His evil infestation of reef tanks
has to stop.
the evil Dr. Flatworm was not captured, Diver Dan is
relentless. Right after the interview, he was seen in
RKM: What about the reefers you assembled?
DD: They were never the wiser to the potential problems at
hand. They did return after a day of fun, and I saw no sense
in ruining their day. We did get to see some of the local
sites and spent alot of time socializing.
RKM: Even without catching Dr. Flatworm, it seems it was
a success and a good time had by all.
DD: Yes, that is part of the reefing community. Socializing
and finding better and safer ways of reefing.
RKM: What's next on your schedule?
DD: I'll continue my search for Dr. Flatworm and his minions.
RKM: And then?
DD: Hopefully, we can rid reef aquariums of his minions.
RKM: And then?
DD: We'll see what fate has in store for me.
RKM: And then?
DD: First Dr. Flatworm, and then we'll
see what happens.
RKM: And then?